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Stories in my mind when I paint

3/21/2015

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Here is a photo of my most recent painting, "Impermanence." I'm trying to catch up on the stories to accompany my new works that will be going to a new gallery in Portland in May. I will give more information about the gallery as we get closer to May and here is a link for the gallery: http://www.jpepinartgallery.com For now, the story, or some of my thought process while painting "Impermanence."

First of all I'd like to mention the houses in the background. As in all of my paintings the houses have no doors. I never gave it too much thought until this morning. I guess I was just chalking it up to creative license . Since there aren't any doors one would imagine that entry and exit into the buildings has to be through the windows. That makes perfect sense, right? It simply means that I make my own opportunities rather than sitting around waiting for things to happen. I have been since I moved to Oregon in 2008. To an outsider looking in it might have looked as though I was doing anything but creating opportunities. At times I've certainly felt like I wasn't doing much, but in hindsight I can clearly I've been busier than even I realized.

White birds have been showing up in my work lately. Birds represent my goals, aspirations and high hopes and they give me a feeling of spiritual freedom and joy. I love to watch the birds soaring through the sky and remember the feeling of flight that I've experienced in dreams. When I paint birds I feel the weight of depression and anxiety lift from my being, and feelings of joy and love take their place.

In this painting I'm sitting on my suitcase. My bags are packed and I'm ready to go and my little imaginary fish friend is along fro the journey. But where are we going? As we wait to figure our our destination the thought of goats came to mind. I used to have a pet goat back in the early 80s - Nanny-O was her name. Who knows why Nanny-O came to mind, or goats in general, but since they did I had to paint them into the scene. Maybe they're just a silly distraction from the uncertainties of my life.

Then there is a blue moon in the sky. You know, once in a blue moon. Only once in a blue moon would I find myself sitting on top of my suitcase at the side of a country road with my imaginary fish friend in tow and silly little goats strolling by as I ponder what's next.


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Beach Day

3/17/2015

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As artists we paint ourselves into our paintings and in this painting I'm the woman on the surfboard in the sand. There's a lot going on in this work. Once again I'm addressing depression, fear, hopes and dreams, and also how we see ourselves when we look into the mirror.
I'll begin with depression, which I tend not to talk about all that much due to the stigma that comes with it. However, for me it's a fact of life that I'm constantly learning to deal with. In this painting the woman on the surfboard is at the beach to enjoy the sunny day. She has her beach ball, her dog, a basket with enough lunch to share, and she even brought her pet fish to also enjoy a day at the beach (no, I don't really have a pet fish).
She is aware of everyone around her having fun in the water and enjoying the company of their friends. She watches, wanting to join in and interact with the others, but that damn depression holds her back and her fear of the water (and not being able to swim). I read somewhere that depression is like looking through a thick sheet of plexiglass - you can see everything going on around you, but you're unable to participate due to the plexiglass holding you back.  
I'm always dreaming, plotting and planning. Sometimes I'm fearful of not having any new artistic ideas and then being all washed up as an artist (again, not the surfboard stuck in the sand). The ideas always come, though, despite the fear. Overhead are birds that represent freedom and how happy I am to be free to pursue my career as an artist, doing what I love. The birds turned into storks as the story of the painting began to unfold in the beginning, and the storks are delivering brand new ideas for me to paint and share with the world - - my treasured 'babies.'
I have also tuned into my self-talk when I look into the mirror. I never thought I had body issues, but apparently I do. That's why I painted the robust ladies in the background and the woman on the surfboard, refusing to wear a swimming suit on the beach due to her issues with her body. The woman on the surfboard is wishing she could be as comfortable in her own skin as the ladies having fun in the water behind her.




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